trainspoting

Well i havnt been on dev as much as u used to b partyly cuz now im drawing and dont hav a scanner to upload my pics but i iwll be gettin one soon which will be mad :) well dont hav much to say maybe in a week :) My negitivity is what drives me to become something better, But my happiness is what i am searching for.

I always thought of love as compassion that anything eles, all my girlfriends say they love me, when i dont say anything back they get pissed off and when i do i get the feel of guilt because i know i truely do not belive i love them. Friends were everything to me last year now i just see them as things to pass time and unfaithfull people. Which wants me to find someone who i can connect with im not sayin as in anything like true love because i dont belive in TRUE love. But i need someone difrent because every1 i know i hate in some way, some of them i relized repersent everything i hate. So that leaves me with the fact that i may belive in l

Today is the day I relize i hav been sad and depressed for the last 2 months :) i opened up 2day and i feel beta than eva im am gonna start workin on sum art again.  I relized i hate all my friends and worked out sumthings with ones that i care bout. I carnt belive how happy i am havnt felt this way in ages and i carnt stop smiling amzing isnt it how just one day u relize all this shit that has been goin on for ages :)